you guys were way drunker than both of me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
