i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
