cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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