Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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