Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
