Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
