What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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