I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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