You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize