38 yer olds are good kisserssss
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
