I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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