Michael Bay diarrhea
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
