mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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