I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
