she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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