I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Buhtt sex?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
