We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Im part way to drunk.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
