It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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