ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
