Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
