just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you win again, gameday.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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