we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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