Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island