Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.