i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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