so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i've created a new STD.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
