I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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