Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
