My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize