My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
