I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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