i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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