I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
