fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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