he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
