I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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