i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
