I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
