My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
only you would photoshop your dick
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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