Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
