On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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