I'm drive I can fine osifer
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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