the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it hurts more in the daytime
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
