Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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