You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
as a side note pls kill me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
