i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
