Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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