:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
