I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
