What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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