; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize