His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
