There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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