can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
