Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
