i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
